If you’re reading this, chances are you’re navigating through some challenging relationships in your life. Whether it’s coping with a narcissistic partner, dealing with betrayal, or struggling with difficult family dynamics, I’m here to tell you that coaching can truly make a difference.
When you embark on a coaching journey with me, you’re not just signing up for support in handling the immediate issues. You’re opening yourself up to a transformative experience that extends far beyond the confines of your relationships. Let me paint a picture for you of how your life can look different after just six months of coaching.
Expected Benefits of Coaching
Let’s start with the expected benefits – the tangible outcomes you can anticipate from our work together:
- Less Reactivity: You’ll find yourself reacting less impulsively to your partner’s actions, giving you more control over your responses.
- Confident Decision Making: Say goodbye to indecision and hello to confidence in your choices.
- Handling Triggers: You’ll learn to manage triggers as they arise, preventing them from dictating your life.
- Mental Clarity: No more feeling like you’re losing your mind. You’ll gain a deep understanding of your thoughts and capabilities.
- Self-Focus: Shift your focus from trying to change your partner to prioritizing your own healing and self-care.
- Boundaries: Establish and maintain clear, firm boundaries that protect your well-being.
- Dealing with External Advice: Know how to navigate unsolicited advice from friends and family with grace and confidence.
- Trusting Your Intuition: Develop trust in your instincts, reducing the need to constantly seek external validation.
Let me tell you what some of this looked like for my client Ava. When we started working together she was trying to repair her relationship with her husband after he had cheated, but she was dealing with weekly, and sometime daily triggers and was have a really hard time making any decisions, even on “easy” things like what to fix for dinner or if she wanted to order something online or not. After working together for 6 months, she was reporting her triggers way down, to about once a month, and when they came she was able to deal with them quickly and on her own. She was even able to confidently go to the beach with her husband and really enjoy herself, something that was too hard to do before coaching because of triggers from his affair. And she became an expert at making decisions for herself. She feels like she now has so much time back in her life because she isn’t spending time managing triggers and making decisions.
But here’s the kicker – coaching doesn’t stop there. The ripple effects of our work together can extend into every aspect of your life. Here are some unexpected benefits that may surprise you:
Parenting
Navigating parenthood can be a daunting journey, especially when faced with challenging dynamics. Here’s how coaching can help you not only survive but thrive as a parent:
- Managing Triggers: Picture this – you’re in the midst of a chaotic morning routine, and your child’s behavior triggers a familiar frustration. In the past, you might have lashed out or let the irritation simmer throughout the day. But with coaching, you’ll learn to recognize these triggers and respond with empathy and patience. You’ll discover that by acknowledging your own emotions without projecting them onto your child, you can foster a more peaceful atmosphere at home.
- Encouraging Independence: Parenthood is a delicate balance between guidance and autonomy. Through coaching, you’ll embrace the importance of allowing your children to make their own decisions, within reasonable boundaries. You’ll witness the power of empowering them to navigate life’s challenges, fostering resilience and self-confidence along the way.
- Letting Go: One of the most liberating lessons you’ll learn is the art of letting go. Whether it’s releasing the need to hold onto past grievances or relinquishing control over every outcome, you’ll discover the freedom that comes with surrender. By adopting a mindset of acceptance and detachment, you’ll find greater peace and harmony within your family dynamic.
- Being Present: Parenthood is filled with precious moments, but it’s all too easy to get caught up in the busyness of daily life. With coaching, you’ll cultivate the practice of being fully present with your children, cherishing each interaction as an opportunity to connect and bond. Whether it’s a shared laugh over a silly joke or a heartfelt conversation before bedtime, you’ll learn to savor these moments as the true treasures they are.
- Modeling Healthy Behavior: As parents, we’re constantly modeling behavior for our children – both consciously and unconsciously. Through coaching, you’ll become more intentional about the messages you’re sending. From offering genuine apologies when you’re wrong to prioritizing self-care and joy in your own life, you’re setting a powerful example for your children to emulate.
Let me tell you about my client Rita. She was struggling with parenting her 5 year old who she described as very “independent & strong willed.” She wanted to keep him safe but his impulsivity was creating lots of little accidents where he was always bleeding from a scrape on the leg or arm or chin. Before coaching she kept trying to place more and more boundaries in an effort to keep him safe, but they were both getting more and more frustrated with each other. Through coaching she was able to see these little scrapes are a normal part of growing up, and as she observed closely, the more she stepped back and let him play without too many interruptions, she could see that he was actually learning problem solving skills and wasn’t making the same mistake too many times. He was actually learning on his own. She decided that she wanted him to have independence to learn and grow in cognitive development when the stakes were low-as in when a scraped knee was the worst thing likely to happen-and enjoyed even teaching him how to open and apply his own bandaids. This happened all while Rita was getting coached on her narcissistic ex husband.
Friendships
Our friendships play a vital role in our lives, shaping our experiences and supporting us through life’s ups and downs. Here’s how coaching can enhance your connections with others:
- Present Friendships: Imagine being the kind of friend who truly listens, without the need to fix or solve. Through coaching, you’ll hone your ability to be fully present for your friends, offering a safe space for them to share their joys and struggles. Whether it’s lending a compassionate ear during a difficult conversation or celebrating their victories with genuine enthusiasm, you’ll become a trusted confidante and source of support.
- Setting Examples: They say actions speak louder than words, and nowhere is this more true than in our friendships. With coaching, you’ll become a beacon of inspiration for those around you, leading by example in matters of self-care and boundary-setting. Whether it’s saying no to commitments that drain your energy or prioritizing activities that bring you joy, you’ll show your friends the importance of honoring their own needs and values.
- Clear Boundaries: Boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships, but they can be challenging to navigate. With coaching, you’ll learn to set clear boundaries with confidence and grace. Whether it’s expressing your needs and preferences openly or respectfully declining invitations that don’t align with your values, you’ll show your friends that it’s okay to prioritize your well-being.
My client Linda was so excited to report to me at the beginning of one of our sessions about 3 months into coaching, that over the weekend she was visiting with a girlfriend and the friend was pretty frustrated about something and venting to her. She said that out of the blue she said to her friend “do you want me to just listen, or would you like help trying to fix this?” She said her friend paused for a moment, sat back, and said “No one has ever asked me that before. I think I want you to just listen, I don’t think I’m ready to fix this yet.” And she said that she and her friend had a wonderful evening together and reported feeling closer to her friend than she ever had before. This was after getting coaching on Linda learning to ask for what she really wanted when speaking to her husband, and in turn she was able to really show up for her friend and ask the friend what she needed in that moment.
In General
Coaching isn’t just about addressing specific challenges – it’s about transforming your entire approach to life. Here’s how coaching can empower you to thrive in all areas:
- Letting Go: Picture yourself facing a challenging situation, whether it’s a conflict at work or an unexpected setback in your personal life. In the past, you might have been consumed by stress and worry, unable to let go of the need to control every outcome. But with coaching, you’ll learn to release the grip of fear and uncertainty, embracing a mindset of trust and surrender. By recognizing that you can’t always change external circumstances, but you can choose how you respond to them, you’ve found a newfound sense of peace and resilience.
- Setting Boundaries: Boundaries are the cornerstone of healthy relationships, but they can be difficult to establish and maintain at first. With coaching, you’ll become a master of boundaries, clearly defining your limits and priorities in all areas of your life. Whether it’s saying no to obligations that don’t serve you or asserting your needs in personal and professional relationships, you’re showing others that your well-being is non-negotiable.
- Making Decisions: Life is full of choices, both big and small, and decision-making can often feel overwhelming. With coaching, you’ll develop the clarity and confidence to make choices that align with your values and goals. Whether it’s choosing a career path that brings you fulfillment or deciding which commitments to prioritize in your busy schedule, you’ll take ownership of your life and pave your own path to success.
You don’t have to take my word for it.
This is what my current client Amy recently said about how coaching has helped her in other ways in addition to helping with her narcissistic partner.
“Before I started coaching, things at home always seemed to be one big stressful mess! One cool thing I learned from Kendra is how to be a better listener to my kids. Now, when my kids talk to me, I really pay attention and try to understand how they feel. It makes them happy, and it makes me feel good too!
Another thing Kendra helped me with is setting boundaries. That means knowing when it’s okay to say no to things. Before, I used to feel like I had to do everything my friends asked me to do, even if I didn’t really want to. But now, I know it’s okay to speak up and tell them how I feel. And you know what? They understand!
And one more thing I learned is how to let go of stuff that’s bothering me. Sometimes, I used to get really mad about things that happened at work or with my husband. And even when I didn’t mean to, I’d yell at my kids when I hadn’t calmed down yet. But now, I know it’s okay to feel upset, and then let it go. I feel way happier and calmer in general now!”
Ready to Take the Next Step?
Now, you might be wondering how to get started on this transformative journey. Well, I’m here to make it easy for you.
But before we dive in, let me share a little secret – I only open three spots for new coaching clients each month. That’s because I believe in giving my clients the attention and support they deserve, and that means keeping my client roster small and focused. Sometimes it means a waiting list, but right now I still have a couple spots open, and one can be YOURS!
So, if you’re ready to experience the life-changing benefits of coaching, don’t hesitate. Take that first step towards a brighter future by scheduling your initial hour of coaching with me. Together, we’ll explore whether we’re the right fit to embark on this journey together.
Remember, this is your time to heal, grow, and thrive. Let’s make it count.
Before we part ways, I want to extend a heartfelt invitation to join my community. If you’re not already on my email list, I encourage you to click HERE and become a valued member. By doing so, you’ll receive timely notifications when new blog posts go live, offering you a regular dose of positive truths about relationships, insights into navigating betrayal trauma, and strategies for overcoming narcissistic abuse.
If you know someone struggling with relationship challenges, working to build self-confidence, or seeking guidance to make decisions they can feel good about, be their guiding light. Share this blog with them and invite them to my page. Together, we can empower others to make choices that resonate with their true selves. Because, deep down, I believe each human is their own best expert.
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As you contemplate your next steps, remember that the power to change your life for the better lies within you. If you’re ready for gentle, wise guidance as you face these challenging decisions, don’t let time slip away. Book a session now, and start your journey towards healing and clarity together.
Looking forward to connecting with you soon!
Warm regards,
Kendra Last, Certified Life Coach & Retreat Leader
