Most women I work with can tell you exactly what they wish their partner would say if he ever truly apologized.
They’ve played it out in their heads a hundred times.
Sarah wishes her husband would say, “I’m sorry I lied. I’m sorry I made you question your sanity.” But instead, he says things like, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to upset you.” It’s still about him. Always him.
Lila wants to hear, “I understand how my choices made you doubt yourself and feel alone.” But she gets, “I’ve said I’m sorry, what more do you want from me?”
And then there’s Mia, who would give anything to hear, “You didn’t deserve this. None of it was your fault.” But he’s too focused on his own guilt to see how deep her pain really goes.
These women all say the same thing in different ways: I just want him to understand what he did to me.
They wait for that moment when he’ll finally own it. When he’ll see it, name it, and mean it. But most of them wait for months or years, and the longer they wait, the heavier it gets.
That waiting does something to a woman. It keeps her tied to the hurt.
Every time she hopes this time will be different and it’s not, the wound opens again.
Every time she gets half an apology or none at all, she feels smaller, more invisible.
And then one day, the waiting stops. Not because she finally got the apology. Because she realizes it’s never coming.
That moment breaks something inside. Whether she stays and tries to rebuild or walks away and starts over, it feels like a small piece of her has died. The part that believed in “us.” The part that believed promises mattered. The part that thought love could be safe.
That piece doesn’t just come back on its own. But it can be rebuilt.
That’s where I come in.
When I work with women after betrayal, we start by separating his behavior from her worth. She begins to understand that his choices say everything about him and nothing about her.
We name the truth, without minimizing it. We rebuild her trust in her own voice. And slowly, she starts to feel solid again.
It doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen. The part of her that felt dead begins to wake up. She starts to see herself again, strong, wise, grounded, and clear.
And since most women will never hear the apology they deserve, I want to give it to you here.
The Apology You Deserve
I’m sorry for what he did.
I’m sorry you were lied to, dismissed, and made to feel crazy for sensing the truth.
You didn’t deserve to be betrayed. You didn’t deserve to question your own worth.
You deserved honesty, loyalty, and care.
You deserved a partner who told the truth because it mattered to him, not because he got caught.
I’m sorry for the nights you cried yourself to sleep and the mornings you had to act like everything was fine.
You didn’t do anything to cause this. None of this was your fault.
You are worthy of love that protects you, not wounds you.
You may never hear those words from him. But you don’t need to. The man who truly understands what he did doesn’t need to be told to apologize. He already knows. If he isn’t willing to face that, his silence says enough. You don’t have to give him any more of your time.
You can stop waiting now. You can take your power back.
I’ve watched women do this in ways that still take my breath away.
One of my clients, Martha, after years of hoping her husband would finally understand the damage he’d caused, decided she was done trying to make him see it. She stopped sending him articles and stopped explaining what she needed. Instead, she turned that same energy toward herself. She started walking every morning, journaling her truth, and showing up to our sessions ready to look at what she could control. Within a few months, her entire energy changed. She told me, “I don’t need him to admit it anymore. I know what happened. I know who I am.” That was her power coming back online. And when she left, she no longer wondered if she had tried enough.
Sonja, another client, wanted an apology that never came. When we began coaching, she said, “I’m waiting for him to care enough to fix this.” He said he wanted to fix it, but none of his actions showed that. Over time, she began to see that waiting was keeping her stuck. We worked on her boundaries, her communication, and her confidence. She started showing up differently, calm, direct, steady. And something surprising happened: he noticed. Her clarity pulled him toward honesty and hiring his own life coach, and for the first time, she felt respected again. But even more important than his reaction was her realization that she could create safety for herself no matter what he chose to do.
That’s what it means to take your power back. It’s not about controlling him. It’s about remembering who you are and living like your worth isn’t up for debate.
Homework that helps.
A simple but powerful exercise I often give clients can help you start reclaiming your voice and your power. Grab a piece of paper and two different colored pens. With the first color, write a letter to the person who betrayed you. Let yourself express everything, your anger, your sadness, your frustration that the apology you have been waiting for has not come. Do not hold back. Then, switch to the second color and write the apology you wish you could hear, exactly the way you need it to sound. This exercise can be incredibly healing, especially if the relationship has ended, the other person has passed away, or you know they will never take that level of accountability. It allows you to fully express your pain and also give yourself the validation and closure you have been waiting for. If you try this out, I would love for you to email me and tell me how it went. I love hearing how women reconnect with their own strength in moments like this.
If you’re ready to start rebuilding the part of you that felt lost, I’d love to help you. In a personal life coaching consultation, we’ll talk about where you are, where you want to be, and what it will take to feel like yourself again. I’ve been helping women just like you for a decade, and I can help you save a lot of time and heartache trying to figure it out on your own. Together, we’ll create a plan to help you feel strong, grounded, and free from the pain of his betrayal.
Want more support?
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