If you’re just finding this blog series, welcome. This is part 5 of a 10-part journey walking through real stories and real steps to move forward after betrayal. You can start at the beginning with Blog 1: Acknowledging the Pain.
If you’ve been following along with Sarah and Tom’s journey, you know that in the last post, they began setting new boundaries, ones that weren’t about punishment or control, but about protecting their progress and creating emotional safety. Now that those boundaries are in place, it’s time for the next essential step: learning how to stay accountable, take consistent action, and communicate openly. These aren’t just tasks to check off a list, they’re the daily practices that help healing stick.
Let them know they are not the only one
If you’ve ever found yourself feeling completely lost in how to move forward, especially after you’ve set some boundaries or gotten a few honest conversations out in the open, this step might be where you’re stuck.
You might be wondering: “Now what? What does real progress even look like? How do I know if I’m doing it right?”
That’s exactly why we talk about accountability, action, and communication, not as big, fancy steps, but as the normal, everyday efforts that actually move things forward.
Sarah’s Plea for Honesty
Early on, Sarah told me she felt like she was holding her breath all the time. Waiting to be lied to again. Waiting to find out something new. She wanted to believe her husband was changing, but she just didn’t know how to trust that yet.
When Tom started showing real accountability, not just saying sorry or making promises, but actively checking in with his coach, Matt Smith, and being honest about his inner world—Sarah said it was like finally exhaling. It didn’t erase the past. But it did show her that he was showing up differently.
Radical honesty wasn’t easy. Sometimes Tom would share things that hurt to hear, even though he was trying to be open. But Sarah began to see the difference between being surprised by the truth and being included in it. That changed everything.
They also had to learn how to talk during hard moments without spiraling. I taught them to use a short “Time Out” when things felt too big. Instead of shutting down or yelling, they’d take 15 minutes to reset, and then come back. It helped them keep talking, even when things were hard.
Sarah started to realize that her responses mattered, too. When she acknowledged Tom’s honesty—even if it hurt—he was more likely to keep being open. That gave her more confidence. It helped her feel stronger, not because everything was fixed, but because she was learning how to handle what came next.
Sarah’s Accountability
Sandra’s engagement ended after the betrayal, and she’s navigating life on her own now. But her story matters just as much, and she’s still doing this work.
For Sandra, accountability looked like her ex finally admitting what had happened and no longer spinning the story to make himself look better. That moment was painful, but it also gave her clarity. Since then, she’s been learning how to stay accountable to herself. She journals almost every day and checks in weekly with our group to share what’s helping and what still feels heavy.
Sandra told the group recently that she’s practicing her own version of “radical honesty”, not with a partner, but in how she talks to herself. She’s not sugarcoating the pain or pretending she’s okay when she’s not. She’s also learning how to have honest conversations with friends and family when she needs support, instead of bottling it up.
Progress looks different for Sandra, but it’s real. It’s showing up, even when it’s hard. It’s naming her needs, setting boundaries, and letting people show up for her in ways she never asked for before.
You don’t have to figure this out alone
No matter your relationship status, whether you’re working things out with your partner or healing on your own, this step takes support.
You weren’t meant to carry this on your shoulders without anyone else who understands. Honest conversations, consistency, and learning how to actually connect (even when it’s awkward) are skills that take practice, and they’re easier to practice with people who get it.
That’s why this step is such a turning point in my group coaching program. You’ll hear what’s working for others. You’ll get support as you try it yourself. And you’ll be reminded that you’re not crazy, you’re not too broken, and you’re not alone in this.
Sarah’s doing this work in her marriage. Sandra’s doing this work as a single woman. And no matter where you are, there’s a spot for you too! Come join us.
What’s Next
Next week, we’ll dive into Step 6: Rebuilding Intimacy Without Pressure because no one should go through this alone. Whether you’re married, separated, or single, having the right kind of support is essential.
If you’re just joining us, this is Blog 5 in a 10-part series on healing after betrayal. Be sure to check back each Monday for the next 5 steps to healing, or click [Here] to join my email list and get the next post sent directly to your inbox as soon as it is published.
If you’re ready to walk this journey alongside others who truly get it, my Group Coaching Program is open now. You’ll be surrounded by women who are rebuilding after betrayal—some staying in their marriages, some not—but all committed to healing. Get instant access to all 10 steps, weekly coaching, replays of all coaching calls, and a community of other amazing women who are also healing after betrayal.
If you feel like you would benefit from one-on-one coaching and like individual support, use this link to schedule a private life coaching consultation now.
You don’t have to do this alone. Healing is possible, and it starts right here.
