If you’re just finding this blog series, welcome. This is part 6 of a 10-part journey walking through real stories and real steps to move forward after betrayal. You can start at the beginning with Blog 1: Acknowledging the Pain.
You’re not the only one
After betrayal, everything gets called into question, especially the parts of the relationship that used to feel natural or safe. You might wonder if you’ll ever want to be touched again. Or if that deep closeness can ever feel real, instead of forced.
That’s exactly where Sarah was. And it’s something I see with nearly every woman I work with. Intimacy becomes complicated. But with patience, safety, and support, it is possible to find your way back to connection without pressure, without pretending, and without giving up on yourself.
Sarah’s Slowly Getting There
Even though Sarah and Tom were doing the work—building accountability, practicing honesty, and communicating better, this part still scared her. The thought of being physically close again brought up so much fear. Her body would flinch even when Tom reached for her hand.
We talked about how emotional safety comes first. So instead of rushing, they slowed way down. I gave them a simple practice: just touch pointer fingers for five minutes each night. No talking, no pressure. Just presence. At first it felt silly, but then something started to shift. They began to laugh again. She didn’t feel braced for impact every time he sat beside her.
Tom also did his own work with Matt Smith, his coach. He started to see that respecting Sarah’s “not yet” was actually part of showing up as someone safe. That shift gave Sarah the space she needed to decide when she was ready, not because she felt guilted into it, but because she wanted to feel close again.
And then there’s Sandra’s story too
Sandra wasn’t in a relationship anymore. Her ex-fiancé had crossed too many lines, and walking away was the hardest—and best—thing she ever did.
But that didn’t make intimacy easier. She still felt triggered by touch. Even hugs from friends sometimes caught her off guard. In group coaching, she shared how she avoided sitting too close to anyone, even in yoga class. She felt broken.
But little by little, she started rebuilding a sense of safety in her own body. She’d wrap herself in a soft blanket each night and press her palms together for a few quiet minutes—her version of the finger-touch practice. No expectations, just being with herself, gently.
She started to go for walks where she could feel the wind on her face and remember she was safe. She didn’t have to be “ready” for a relationship. She just had to keep showing up for herself. That was enough.
Group coaching is where women like Sarah and Sandra show up, share honestly, and support each other through these hard, real steps. I guide the group personally, and every week we dig into exactly what it looks like to rebuild life and intimacy after betrayal.
What’s Next
Next week, we’ll dive into Step 7: Forgiving (Without Forgetting) because no one should go through this alone. Whether you’re married, separated, or single, having the right kind of support is essential.
If you’re just joining us, this is Blog 6 in a 10-part series on healing after betrayal. Be sure to check back each Monday for the next 4 steps to healing, or click [Here] to join my email list and get the next post sent directly to your inbox as soon as it is published.
If you’re ready to walk this journey alongside others who truly get it, my Group Coaching Program is open now. You’ll be surrounded by women who are rebuilding after betrayal—some staying in their marriages, some not—but all committed to healing. Get instant access to all 10 steps, weekly coaching, replays of all coaching calls, and a community of other amazing women who are also healing after betrayal.
If you feel like you would benefit from one-on-one coaching and like individual support, use this link to schedule a private life coaching consultation now.
You don’t have to do this alone. Healing is possible, and it starts right here.
