As a life coach, clients come to me with problems they have been experiencing in their lives that they want to change. At first it can feel scary to imagine changing your feeling from Anger to Happiness overnight. It just isn’t believable to most people. I know that it’s POSSIBLE for them to feel happiness, after feeling anger. I know that my clients’ possibilities are ENDLESS! Let me tell you how you can bridge the gap between your old belief that has not given you good results, and the new belief that will get you the results you want.
It can feel like too big of a stretch to change your thought from “I’m unloveable” to “I’m infinitely loveable exactly as I am.” I wholeheartedly believe that my clients, and YOU, as you are reading this, are 100% loveable right now, without changing anything. However, I can’t inject my belief into another person, they have to believe it on their own. And so when the new thought that will get them the results they want seems too far away, I show my clients CURIOSITY.
A great middle ground when you are working on believing a new thought is to stay curious. “I wonder how loveable I am” is a much more useful thought than “I’m unloveable.” Here’s the thing; our mind will always be looking for evidence to prove our thoughts to be true. If you are spending brain energy thinking you are unlovable, your brain, on autopilot, will be looking for evidence that you are not loveable. If instead you gave your brain a new task and asked “I wonder how lovable I am?” your brain will start spending its energy looking for evidence that you ARE loveable. And once you’ve had this new thought for a while, you can try on the next step of thinking, “I’m infinitely loveable.” Your brain will start to see that it can find evidence of whatever it is you are looking for.
Let’s say I’m helping a client try to make a new plan for a goal they have never accomplished. What I often hear is “I don’t know what I need to do.” Confusion gets in the way of your mind figuring out what you need to do next. It might be too far of a leap to go to the new thought of “I know exactly what I need to do.” However, if you try on curiosity again, it will help you discover what you need to do. I’ll ask my clients “let’s just pretend you knew what you needed to do, what would your best guess be at what your next step is?” From this less pressure place of curiosity they are able to make decisions on what their next steps need to be.
What if you are looking for a new job, wanting to make new friends, get a raise, or reach some other goal? Curiosity can help with all of these things too. Thoughts like these can be very helpful:
“I wonder where I’ll meet a new friend?”
“After I apply for 10 jobs, I can’t wait to see what new job I end up getting!”
“I wonder where I’ll meet my next client?”
“I’m curious if I can save enough to buy a house.”
“I can’t wait to see just how much money I make this year if I start using this new skill I’ve learned.”
Staying in a place of curiosity helps give our minds a place to focus. And staying focused on what is possible in the future will keep you moving towards your goals. Staying stuck by looking only to the past to see what is possible will leave you feeling defeated before you even start.
Our human brains are wired for comfort and survival. It is natural for your brain to feel like it’s in danger when it starts to dream of a new reality. That’s ok. Your brain is just thinking that you still live in a cave and are being hunted by lions and bears. You are perfectly safe! Take a quiet moment in your mind and tell your brain that it is safe, nothing has gone wrong, and that you are ready to dream of new possibilities.
The title is What is Better than Happiness? I want to just say that happiness, joy, fulfillment, or whatever you want to call it, is the goal most of us have in life. And there is nothing wrong with that. I am not saying that curiosity is necessarily better than happiness. What I AM saying is that if you find yourself in a pursuit of happiness and feel like you are always coming up short, try on curiosity for a while and see if you end up in happiness, or whatever it is you are searching for. I know that staying curious will always help us find more solutions to problems than staying in disbelief or defeat.
If any of this has piqued your curiosity and you are curious if what I’m talking about really works, I’d love to show you how. In a FREE 60 minute call I will walk you through this formula to learn truly what is possible in your life! (Spoiler alert: ANYTHING is possible. But I know you’ll want to experience this and see it for yourself. I believe in YOU and I’m excited to share these tools with you. Sign up for your free session HERE.
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