Why Do All My Friends Just Keep Telling Me to Leave My Relationship?

I can imagine the waves of pain crashing over you, the gut-wrenching moment you discovered the betrayal that shattered the trust in your relationship. It’s a pain that cuts deep, leaving you questioning the foundation you thought was unbreakable. The sleepless nights, the silent tears, the moments of disbelief – I’ve seen these struggles before, I have felt this pain myself and I want you to know that you’re not alone.

Since that awful day you learned of the betrayal, you’ve likely been on a lonely journey of self-discovery, trying to navigate all the emotions and attempting to make sense of the chaos within. Maybe you’ve sought solace in late-night Google searches, trying to find answers to questions that seem to have no easy resolution. Perhaps you’ve filled countless journal pages with the raw, unfiltered expressions of your heartache, or you’ve immersed yourself in self-help books, grasping for any lifeline to pull you from the depths of despair.

This solitude, while a testament to your strength and resilience, can also be isolating. The weight of the decision to stay or leave hangs heavy, and the conflicting advice from well-meaning friends only adds more layers to your already complex emotional landscape.

Your friends, in their urgency for you to break free, may be drawing from their own experiences of betrayal trauma. Their hearts ache for you, their words are fueled by empathy. They hold a lantern, a beacon of hope, wishing you’d follow it out of the darkness they know all too well. Their intentions are rooted in love, an attempt to shield you from the pain that has left its mark on their own lives.

Yet, their perspective is limited. They see fragments of your story, the pain etched across your face, the broken trust, but they can’t fully grasp the complexity of the love you may still feel for your partner. It’s like observing a painting from afar, unable to discern the subtle strokes and colors that make it uniquely yours.

In this big sea of emotions, what you need is a steady hand to guide you through the storm. I truly believe you are the best expert of your own life, and my role as a life coach is not to dictate your choices but to help you find clarity amid the chaos. I won’t tell you to leave or stay; instead, let’s work together to unearth the right decision for you.  

Your friends, while they may be trying to be helpful, can’t fully listen and hear all the parts of your mind and your heart.  They are looking through their own lens of their own life experiences, their hopes for you, and their fears for you.  Like parents, most friends don’t want you to be in pain, and so they will do anything they can to keep you from feeling pain.  However, often in their attempt to prevent future pain IN the relationship, they encourage the pain of getting OUT of the relationship.  They don’t see that there will be some pain either way, and you will need to still make the overall best choice for yourself.

You need someone who is not personally involved to help take your hand and guide you out of the confusion.  Someone who truly believes that both options are available to you and that you can find happiness whether you stay or leave.  In fact, when you embrace both options being available, it’s then that you can actually decide.  It’s not really a decision if there is only one option.  After you decide, you will then need your friends to rally around you and support you no matter what decision you make. 

I extend an invitation to embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing with me. In a personalized coaching session, we’ll explore what makes your relationship uniquely yours, explore all of your emotions, and navigate through all of the available options.  (Did you know there are more options available to you than just staying or leaving?) I firmly believe that everyone deserves to make decisions they love, set boundaries aligned with their core values, and build relationships stronger than ever before.  I can help you do that.

Our initial session is a chance for us to connect, ensuring that the coaching relationship is a good fit for both of us. Coaching spots are limited, and not everyone will be a good fit, but I would love the opportunity to guide you towards the decisions and boundaries you desire and deserve.

Let your friends take a break and tell them you love them, are so grateful for their concern, and that you are choosing to get a professional’s guidance right now.  So they can take a break from trying to convince you to leave, and just love and support you as you confidently make your own decision.

If you’re ready for gentle, wise guidance as you face these challenging decisions, don’t let time slip away. Book your first session now, using THIS LINK, and let’s embark on a journey towards healing and clarity together.  

Before we part ways, I want to extend a heartfelt invitation to join my community. If you’re not already on my email list, I encourage you to click HERE and become a valued member. By doing so, you’ll receive timely notifications when new blog posts go live, offering you a regular dose of positive truths about relationships, insights into navigating betrayal trauma, and strategies for overcoming narcissistic abuse. 

If you know someone struggling with relationship challenges, working to build self-confidence, or seeking guidance to make decisions they can feel good about, be their guiding light. Share this blog with them and invite them to my page. Together, we can empower others to make choices that resonate with their true selves. Because, deep down, I believe each human is their own best expert.

If what you find in this article resonates with you, there’s more waiting for you on my Facebook page. Click HERE to discover additional insights, and make sure to hit the follow button so you don’t miss any of the helpful content that I share there.

As you contemplate your next steps, remember that the power to change your life for the better lies within you. If you’re ready for gentle, wise guidance as you face these challenging decisions, don’t let time slip away. Book a session now, and start your journey towards healing and clarity together.


Kendra Last, Certified Life Coach & Retreat Leader

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My name is Kendra Last

I’m a life coach and author of the book Journaling to Recovery: A Reference Guide to Healing from Betrayal Trauma. I have been working in the betrayal recovery world for almost a decade. I’ve been there, and I will help you let go of the pain of the past, help you recognize your own inner beauty and strength, and help you learn to celebrate yourself again.

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