We all have a deep need and craving to hear our own voice, to know the wisdom that is held deep down inside of us. We all have that voice, that inner knowing, but in the day to day hustle of our everyday lives that voice can become hard to hear.
I have said for a long time, “You are the expert of YOU!” What I mean by that is, deep inside of you is a wisdom that is whole and perfect and knows exactly what YOU need. She is there. She has always been there. But often we go looking outside of ourselves to find the answers to our biggest questions, and then get confused by contradicting answers.
The answer to this confusion, and finding our deep inner knowing, is to step away from the world. Get away on a retreat. I know this well. We NEED time away. There are multiple ways you can do this. You can go on an individual retreat, be completely alone, and write in your journal and find your voice. You can go on a retreat with some of your girlfriends, or you can go to a formal retreat hosted by a professional or group. I think they all are wonderful and important and I want to tell you why.
Individual Retreats: I have done these a few times in the last few years. Each has been life changing! To be alone with myself and my thoughts, to connect with my body and mind, and truly not have to think about other humans for a few days is so restorative and healing. I have spent days on the beach in Costa Rica and Mexico, and I have stayed in rather unimpressive hotels in Utah and Kansas. It really doesn’t matter WHERE you are, as much as what you DO. I’ll tell you more about what I do here in a bit.
Girlfriend Retreats: Every October (until Covid) my girlfriends and I would meet up in San Diego, leave all our children behind with partners, and hang out for a long weekend. We would talk about deep subjects, and be completely real and raw with each other. And I would journal a lot. Being out of our homes, having basically no chores or responsibility for days except feeding ourselves, and spending hours talking and thinking was healing to our souls. Choosing friends that all want to have the same type of restoration is very important for the success of these retreats!
Attending a Professional Retreat: I have been to at least a dozen formal retreats over the years. Long before I actually knew just how much they helped, I knew I loved them and I needed more! Being able to step away from my life for a bit gave me clarity of mind, and allowed me to really ask myself what I wanted to do, and who I wanted to become. Finding a retreat that fits your needs, and gives you the type of transformation you are wanting is key. I think it’s really important to talk to the retreat hosts before you sign up, and hear in their words what the retreat is meant to do, rather than just read words on a website. Websites can be too vague, or seem a little too good to be true. Before you judge too harshly either way, I encourage you to consult with the host and ask all the questions you have.
Now, as far as what I suggest for your personal retreats. Have a list of questions ready that you will be asking yourself and writing about. I have long been an advocate of healing through journaling. You can get my Free Journal Prompts Here. Journaling the answers to your questions is essential. I can almost guarantee that when you are finally alone, and sitting down to write, you are not going to want to write. You won’t really know what to say. That’s ok, write anyway. There is something truly magical that happens when your pen hits the paper and you start writing. Your voice, this wise inner self of yours, will come out and the words will flow. Don’t question it, just write.
Every day that you are alone you should ask yourself 2-4 questions. Take a break in between each question. Go for a walk, take a bath, eat a meal, read a book, meditate, color, or anything else that isn’t distracting your mind too much. I discourage too much TV, social media or YouTube. Make a commitment to yourself that for those few days you are going to truly take a break from your regular life, and just be with yourself.
Eat good food! Another way that I think is really important to get in touch with your inner voice, is to care for your body, and nourish it with good food. At each mealtime, ask yourself what you’d really LIKE to eat. If there were no price tags next to the food items, what would your body most enjoy? This helps you get in tune with yourself, and helps build self trust that you really will take care of yourself.
Drink lots of water!! Listen, healing is thirsty work!! Take a water bottle or refillable cup that you love, that brings you joy, and keep filling it up! Care for yourself by giving your body all the water it needs.
Only you will know exactly what you need, and only you will know exactly what kind of retreat you need each year. But these times away from your regular life and responsibilities are so important. It is often during these times that you make big life decisions. And it’s not because of what the yoga instructor said, it’s because you finally got quiet enough to hear your own inner voice. So I urge you to take some time, make a commitment to yourself, and go on some type of retreat this year.
As a Life Coach I help my clients return to this wise inner self. I help them clear their mind, make sense of what has happened, and make decisions they love. It is great work that is truly transforming. I usually work with my clients for 6 months to achieve the transformation that I promise them. AND I also offer retreats, as a way to consolidate this work, and help you quickly get back to this wise inner voice. It is possible to find her through coaching while staying at home and living your usual life. AND it is amazing the amount of healing and restorative work we can get done in a week at retreat, versus months of weekly coaching, when we retreat away, and get really quiet with ourselves.
My retreats are deeply thought about, and planned with intention behind every activity. Everything about the retreat helps us pull back from the world: We contemplate meaningful questions and participate in on-site life coaching. Breaks and activities are included with purpose and intention. Everything comes together for you, even down to the delicious food choices that are part of the all-inclusive package. My retreat partners are carefully thought about and selected for each retreat. I focus on YOU! I want to make sure that from the moment you arrive, until the moment you leave, you will have almost zero decisions to make so that your mind is free to do the truly important healing work. This is one of the reasons I love attending professional retreats that others have planned, because I don’t have to make any decisions the entire time I’m there. Especially as a mother I feel like my brain is in a constant fog from having to make so many decisions, and so when I go on a retreat and that large burden is taken off my shoulders, all of a sudden so much of my mind is free to think about the really important questions I contemplate while I’m there.
Deciding to invest in myself can be as powerful as the retreat itself. I remember the first retreat I ever attended. I was a newly divorced single mom of 3 littles and living paycheck to paycheck. AND, my mind was in constant confusion and I didn’t know what I wanted to do next. I didn’t know what I wanted my future to look like and I felt alone and broken. I saw a description of a retreat, and it spoke to me. It was like it was written just to me. I knew deeply that I needed to do this. And even though I had to get creative on how to pay for it, and do some extra side work, I made it happen. And I can tell you that my transformation started when I made that commitment to myself to get the money. When I prioritized myself, and decided that I was worth spending, what seemed like a lot of money, on myself, I started to change from that moment. And the day I paid the fee and secured my spot I could really feel the change setting in. I arrived at that retreat ready for everything it had to offer, and I went home a totally changed woman. And for better or worse, I have been going to retreats ever since. I can feel in my soul the importance of them, and know the power of the changes that can come from them.
In fact, at one memorable retreat I attended, as a symbolic healing gesture, I threw my old wedding ring into a lake. I wrote about that in this previous blog post.
I want to tell you that I have some very exciting announcements coming about retreats for 2023. You will want to watch your emails, so get on the email list if you aren’t already, and follow my social media so you don’t miss a thing!
The most important thing to know about the retreats this summer is that I have a spot for YOU, and you will:
- Process emotion and clear your mind after trauma or betrayal. You will learn to recognize the difference between fact and story. Learning which thoughts are optional can be very powerful, and is often the turning point in overcoming past hurts and traumas.
- Be guided as you get to know your brain and how it works. This is important, so that as you move forward, you don’t keep repeating past behaviors, and instead move forward creating a life you choose.
- Gain sure, immovable self-confidence, so you forever create safe spaces for yourself to feel and process any emotion.
- Learn not to be afraid of emotions, which helps you with stress and trigger resiliency.
- Be in a safe space to tell your stories, know you aren’t alone and no longer feel like you are going crazy.
- Be guided as you learn to make decisions and take action, trusting yourself that you are capable of making your own best decisions.
- Gain mental independence and learn to set boundaries as you make your own decisions across a range of life scenarios: following divorce, leaving an abusive relationship, experiencing trauma, or making a big life change.
- Truly understand that each woman is her own expert. You will be guided to see that the answers are already inside you. And you will know how to access this part of you even after you return home.
- Be completely nourished both body and soul. You will be fed and taken care of (all-inclusive except for air fare.)
- Make new best friends for life, and one of them will be YOU!
This is the transformation you need this year! This is for YOU! Don’t let another year go by before you nourish yourself in this way. This retreat really is open to any woman age 21+. It is geared towards healing trauma, and overcoming past struggles or abuse. However, those results listed above are available to anyone who comes and fully participates. So if you have a girlfriend or sister you’d like to bring with you, it is open to all who identify as female.
Stay tuned, more juicy details coming soon! But first answer this important question: Am I willing to go all in for myself and heal with a retreat?!
PS-Spoiler alert, this next retreat is in the USA, so no passport needed. It might even be within driving distance of you?! So stay tuned for more information coming soon!
If what you have read has resonated with you, and you feel like this might be describing your current or past relationship, and are looking for help and guidance as you heal, I am here to help you. I invite you to schedule a consultation call with me where you can experience life coaching and decide if you are ready to work together. This first hour of working together is only $17. And if at the end of our hour together you do not feel like it was helpful to you, I will gladly give you a full refund. If you are wondering if you are ready to take this step, I will say yes. If you are even thinking about it, it means it is time. Coaching spots are filling quickly and I only have a few spots left. Don’t put off your healing any longer. You ARE ready for this next step in your life. Go HERE to schedule your consultation call now.
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